Q: Why can’t I have a vaginal orgasm? I can only orgasm with a vibrator and sometimes oral sex. Is there something wrong with me? Are there positions I should try to orgasm during penetrative sex?
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you! Most people who have vulvas need clitoral stimulation in order to experience an orgasm, and that’s OK.
And if you’ve found that you can orgasm with a vibrator or oral sex, that’s great! That means you know your body.
To be honest, there isn’t a big difference between the way a vaginal or clitoral orgasm feels.
Like the vagina, the clitoris is part of a system comprised of erogenous tissue that becomes engorged with blood when aroused.
If you’re focused on having a vaginal orgasm, consider using a sex toy that stimulates the clitoris during penetrative play.
As far as positions go, the best positions to try are the ones that are the most comfortable for you. You shouldn’t feel pressured to engage in any positions that cause unwanted sexual pain.
If you can, find a comfortable position that allows your clitoris to receive stimulation during penetration.
- Loyola University Chicago, BS
- Columbia University in the City of New York, MS
- Pacifica Graduate Institute, PhD
- Licensed Clinical Psychologist
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker
- AASECT Certified Sex Supervisor
- AASECT Certified Sex Therapist
- Brito, J. (2018). A Phenomenological Analysis on Infertility in Mexican Women Living in the U.S. Interamerican Journal of Psychology.
