Finding ways to cope with difficult emotions related to IBS-C is important for managing the condition and supporting your well-being.
If you’ve experienced difficult emotions or mental health challenges related to IBS-C, you’re not alone.
A 2023 research review found that up to one-third of people with IBS experience anxiety or depression. Emotional or mental distress may make IBS symptoms worse.
Chronic constipation, pain, or other symptoms of IBS-C may limit your ability to work, travel, socialize, or take part in other activities that matter to you. Many people with IBS-C also face stigma from family, friends, or other community members who don’t fully understand the condition or the challenges it poses.
Healthline spoke with patient advocate Regina Meucci-Ciavarella to learn about the difficult emotions that can come with IBS-C and strategies for managing those feelings.
Regina has been living with symptoms of IBS-C since she was a child. Doctors recommended dietary changes, dietary supplements, and over-the-counter laxatives and enemas, but none of these treatments worked well for her. It wasn’t until she was in her late 40s that she received a referral to a gastroenterologist and got an official diagnosis of IBS-C. She now takes prescription medication that helps limit her symptoms.
The challenges of managing IBS-C have led to some difficult days for Regina. Over time, she has found strategies for navigating the ups and downs of life with this condition. Read on to learn what she had to say.
This interview has been edited for brevity, length, and clarity.
Before I started taking my current medication, IBS did a mental number on me.
I had never really been able to have a “normal” bowel movement since I was a child. Every time I went to the doctor, I’d always tell them I had this constipation problem, and it was always the same thing: laxatives, enemas, take magnesium, change your diet, drink more water.
You name it, I tried it. Some treatments didn’t work at all. Some worked for a little while but then suddenly stopped.
When I have a flare-up and can’t have a bowel movement, it feels like somebody’s stabbing me from the inside with a knife. I’m doubled over in pain.
I have a compress on the back of my neck and a bucket in front of me because I feel like I’m gonna throw up or pass out at any moment. I’m sweating and pushing. I know I have to go to the bathroom, but I can’t.
It’s a vicious cycle. I start feeling the flare, then the anxiety and depression come because I know what’s coming next. I get so stressed out, and my body gets so rigid and tight. It’s like I try to calm down and relax, but I can’t.
That’s where the isolation comes in. Your friends and family are getting together, and you’re on the couch with a heating pad in pain, thinking, “Why is this happening? Why can’t I be like everybody else and have a typical digestive system?” It’s a horrible feeling that just keeps going around and around and around.
I try to take it one day at a time.
Humor is a coping mechanism for me because if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry.
And I don’t mean to make light of it because it’s not a joke. I won’t say that I don’t have moments of depression and sadness.
I’ve had many times of crying, feeling horrible, and not wanting to get out of bed. But you have to pick yourself up and know, I’m going to get through it, and it’s going to be a new day.
Thank God I have a very supportive and understanding husband because when you’re going through all of this, it takes a toll. For a long time, I didn’t tell anyone about it other than my family. It was embarrassing to have to tell somebody, “I’m sorry, I have to cancel again. I can’t go out with you because I can’t go to the bathroom.”
Now, I have about four or five friends I’ve confided in, and I’m glad I finally opened up. They’re very supportive. I stayed isolated for too long, and now that I’m speaking more about it, I feel much better.
Those friends are getting a little more education about IBS, and as I start telling them, I find out more and more that somebody else might have it. One of my friends was like, “My daughter sounds like that.” Then, I don’t feel so alone.
I’m not going to say you’re not allowed to have a down day because we all have them. If you need that day to be like, “I’m staying in,” that’s OK. You can have a down day, but don’t stay down forever.
When you’re down, listen to music you love. Walk up and down your driveway. Get outside. Get some fresh air. Call your best friend, mother, father, or whoever you’re closest to, and say, “I’m having a bad day.”
I’m not a very religious person, but some people find that going to church and praying brings them solace. Anything that’s going to distract your mind from, “I have this IBS. I have this pain.”
Go out! Pack a bag if you need a laxative, an enema, a change of clothes, whatever. The worst thing that can happen while you’re out is that you’ll have a flare-up. If it happens, it happens. Then, you can go home. Just be prepared, and don’t shut yourself off. Live life the best you can.
I want everyone to know they’re not alone. Many people have this condition. Reach out to them. Join a support group. Ask your doctor if they know of any other patients they might be able to connect you with.
Just don’t give up. Keep going to the doctor. Always advocate for yourself, and if you feel like you’re not being heard, say it again. Tell them, “I’m sorry, but you’re not actively listening to me.”
This condition is not the end of us, and we can’t let it define us. You can have a life with IBS.
Biography
Regina Meucci-Ciavarella has lived with IBS-C since childhood. She received an official diagnosis of IBS-C about 10 years ago and has recently stepped into the role of patient advocate. She was born in Boston and now lives in New York City, where she’s a caregiver to her parents. She and her husband have a blended family with four children.