7 Reasons to Live, from a Text Crisis Counselor Who’s Been There Before

I’ve spoken to people in crisis who truly believed no one cared about them, making them feel ashamed or afraid to open up. This just made them withdraw even more.

It may seem like everyone has their own preoccupations keeping them busy. In reality, people often just don’t know what’s going on in your head. But if they did, chances are they’d be more than happy to lend a listening ear or help you find the support you need.

Hotlines can be a lifesaving tool, but they’re not for everyone. Luckily, they aren’t your only option.

When you’re in the middle of a crisis, that’s usually the only thing you can see.

Again, the desire to avoid pain is completely normal. And when you feel consumed by it, suicide often seems like the most efficient way to get relief.

You might feel pretty bleak right now, but note those key words:“right now.”

This is a prime example of tunnel vision — or the tendency to only see one possible outcome in a given situation. The problem with tunnel vision is that it lies.

Whether you’re lonely, facing abuse, about to become jobless or homeless, or anything else, no situation is impossible. There may be solutions you just can’t see yet, and that’s why it’s so important to give yourself some time.

In a crisis, you might feel trapped because you don’t see any way out. You might think you’ve blown your chance to have the life you wanted or permanently lost a friendship that really mattered to you.

Thoughts of suicide often stem from desperation and helplessness, but these feelings don’t have to be permanent states of being.

When your emotions threaten to overwhelm you, get some distance by focusing on the facts instead.

Here are two important ones to start with:

• Emotions aren’t permanent: No matter how isolated, hopeless, angry, or lost you feel right now, you won’t always feel that way. Emotions come and go, and you can learn how to better manage them.
• Situations can change: Maybe you messed up or made the wrong choice. But continuing your life gives you the power to take back control over the circumstances and improve them.

Perhaps you live with physical or mental health symptoms that affect your quality of life. Or maybe you have a hard time recognizing what’s gone right — or even well — in your life.

Giving up can feel easier when life seems pointless. But just as pain keeps you from seeing solutions, it can also pull the joy and significance from the things that used to matter.

Your life does have meaning, though. Challenge yourself to discover this meaning — or create it for yourself. It may not be large or earth-shattering, but it’s still there. Consider skills, abilities, and other things you take pride in. Think about your connections with others or goals you once had.

It’s common to lash out when you’re struggling, to do or say things you don’t mean. The pain you cause can make you believe the people you hurt are better off without you, which can intensify suicidal thinking.

But consider this: They wouldn’t feel hurt if they didn’t care. Let this be proof that they care, and let it give you strength to apologize, make amends, or work on repairing the friendship.

Try opening up about the darkness you’re feeling. Not everyone knows anger and irritability often show up as a symptom of depression or other mental health conditions.

Everyone messes up sometimes, and feeling bad about your mistakes shows you want to do better.

Giving yourself the chance to repair your mistakes allows you to prove you can, in fact, do better — even if you’re just proving that to yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the first one you’ll want to mend, after all.

You’ll often hear suicide described as a permanent solution to temporary struggles.

I don’t love this description, because not all problems are temporary. Time doesn’t erase your experiences or change events. If you’ve lost a loved one or experienced trauma, you’ll continue to carry that grief.

Things really will improve, though you’ll probably have to work at it. Your future may look a little different from what you envisioned, since not all damage can be repaired.

But even when you can’t repair the damage, your experiences can still lead you to a rewarding future. The only catch? You have to give life a chance to surprise you.

Life takes courage. Period.

It’s scary to live with unknowns, to wake up each day unsure of what it holds. Considering all the possibilities and potential pitfalls that lie ahead can terrify you into never taking a step.

But the truth is, you just don’t know what lies ahead. No one does. Things might get worse — but they could easily get better. Considering challenges you might face allows you to plan for them.

And finally, hold on because you matter. However low you’re feeling, remember this.

Life — and people — can always change, and you deserve another chance. Your life deserves another chance.

When you look back a few years down the line (because you will make it through this moment), you might find it hard to recall exactly how unhappy you were. Your experience with the dark and ugly aspects of life will help you notice light and beauty more easily — and give you more capacity to enjoy them.

There’s still hope, as long as you’re still here. So, stay here. Keep learning. Keep growing. You’ve got this.

Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.