No matter which emotions you might feel after a breakup, remember to keep a balanced perspective, spend time doing things you enjoy, and talk with other loved ones — but only when you’re ready.

Not everyone may expect to feel anxious after a breakup.

Anxiety involves more than just worry, though. And it may show up as part of post-breakup distress. This anxiety may include:

You might find yourself ruminating, or fixating on thoughts about what happened in your relationship and the breakup.

These feelings won’t last forever, but you can take steps to help send them on their way. You’ll find eight strategies to help you begin working through post-breakup anxiety below.

When you feel alone and hurt, spending time by yourself might be the last thing you want to do. You may crave the comfort a partner provides, so you might end up turning to someone else.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with seeking social support. Still, taking some time to reconnect with yourself may help reduce anxious feelings and make it easier to begin the healing process.

To start rekindling your relationship with yourself:

  • Reflect: Explore how the relationship and breakup clarified your needs and taught you about yourself. How can you use that new insight to build stronger, more gratifying relationships in the future?
  • Pause: Consider giving yourself some time before you pursue a new relationship. Looking for another connection before you’re ready may hinder self-exploration and healing. Any anxiety and fears you didn’t fully address might resurface with a new partner.
  • Take inventory: Explore the habits and beliefs you adopted during the relationship. Do these changes accurately represent your desires, interests, and values? Or did you adopt these traits in the hopes of building a stronger bond with your then-partner?

Mindfulness is far from a cure-all, but making an effort to live more mindfully may help with anxiety.

If you experience post-breakup anxiety, your instinct might be to turn away from that pain, to squash it down and ignore it entirely until it goes away.

Avoidance doesn’t make a good long-term coping strategy, though. The emotions you try to block may grow and intensify until they become overwhelming.

Facing your distress head-on may help you regain control. If sadness and anxiety surface, try to acknowledge and accept those thoughts.

As painful as this may be, it can help signify the importance of the relationship and what it meant to you.

Naming and sitting with those emotions can feel a lot more difficult than simply pushing them away — at first. Over time, you may find it easier to identify difficult feelings and let them go before they have the chance to affect you.

Mindfulness-based practices may help you increase awareness of your thoughts and emotions, but they also involve staying present instead of letting anxiety and worry consume you.

Living more mindfully, then, may mean practicing gratitude for daily experiences and loved ones, and taking time to enjoy the small pleasures of life.

At this stage, it’s important to set feelings of self-doubt or rejection aside to help avoid further damage to your character and confidence.

While vilifying your ex and pushing all the blame on them might seem to help you get over them faster, research suggests that this may leave you holding on to negative emotions.

The next step forward for you is adopting a more balanced frame of mind, which may offer a smoother path toward relief.

Breakups often happen in response to several different factors. So, try to acknowledge your ex’s role and yours objectively. It’s much less about who ended things than who can use the breakup to grow.

After a breakup, you might find yourself with extra time on your hands.

Try to find rewarding activities to entertain you, which may both help fill your time and provide a glimmer of positivity throughout your day.

There’s nothing wrong with briefly clearing your mind of unwanted thoughts, as long as you don’t completely deny those emotions.

Eventually, you will need to address what happened to process your emotions and move on, which may sound hard right now, but you will get to that point someday.

It can help to take breaks from heavy emotional lifting and give yourself space to breathe and relax.

Since anxiety can make it difficult to concentrate, relaxing hobbies can help you cope with those moments when settling on a specific task may feel impossible.

Whatever you choose, the key is to pick something that brings you joy.

Depending on the circumstances of your breakup, you might not know where to begin explaining what happened if others ask. And opening up to others right now might only renew the pain.

It can also be hard to talk if you think no one else will understand what you’re going through.

Remember: You never have to share anything that feels uncomfortable or causes you further pain. Take however much time you need to heal alone, and connect with others only when you feel mentally ready.

You might worry about how loved ones might react, but these relationships can be a great source of emotional support.

Your friends and family care about you, so they want to help in whatever way possible as soon as you’re ready to talk with them.

Loved ones can listen when you talk through thoughts that make you anxious. They can also help comfort and distract you when you feel overwhelmed.

You don’t even have to discuss the breakup. Simply knowing you can talk with someone who cares about you and your well-being can help make a big difference.

Self-care is always important for health and well-being. But it becomes even more important when facing stress, anxiety, and other distress.

Tips for physical self-care

To boost wellness and manage physical distress associated with post-breakup anxiety, try these strategies:

  • Get moving: Aim to get at least 15 to 30 minutes of physical activity each day, if possible. But even just 5 or 10 minutes can help. If the weather is nice, you might consider taking your exercise outside.
  • Stay hydrated: Drink plenty of water to help you maintain hydration and support your body.
  • Limit substance use: Try to avoid drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, since alcohol may worsen anxiety.
  • Focus on your diet: Eat regular, balanced meals, including nutritious, anxiety-reducing foods when possible.
  • Sleep well: Try to go to bed and wake up around the same time each day. When possible, aim for 7 to 9 hours of sleep.

Tips for emotional self-care

Various coping strategies may help ease the effects of anxiety on your overall outlook. Here are multiple options to consider:

You might have plenty of questions after a breakup, especially if you’re lacking closure.

Perhaps you go over the same questions in your head, or with loved ones, again and again.

Finding answers might seem like the key to feeling better, but this belief can trap you in an unpleasant emotional space.

For one, there may be no clear answers to your questions. Some things can’t be put into words. And if you do get answers, they may not be what you want to hear.

Reconnecting after the breakup may seem like a way to get closure, but it’s almost always best to avoid contacting your ex.

If you have some questions that you really need answered, try taking time to begin the healing process before pursuing the topic.

As time passes, you may just find that the answers you seek aren’t that important.

Moving forward without clarity isn’t always easy, but resolving to stay true to your needs and values may help you begin letting go of anxious thoughts.

When you’re living your best life and thinking clearly, you may no longer care about the “why.”

If you have post-breakup anxiety that doesn’t improve after a few weeks with coping strategies, or you notice it begins to affect your daily life, such as your sleep quality, digestion, or appetite, you might benefit from therapy.

Therapists and other mental health professionals offer unbiased and expert advice, something that friends or family may not always be able to provide.

Some are even experts in helping people who have gone through breakups.

Speaking with a therapist may help you consider perspectives you didn’t think of before, and they may recommend specific coping strategies to help you overcome your feelings.

Breakups may leave you reeling. But remember that no matter what you’re feeling, you are not alone.

Take heart: Time can help relieve even the most intense post-breakup grief or anxiety. And as your anxiety begins to fade, which takes time, patience, and self-compassion, the calm that replaces it can nurture new growth.

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Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy. Her fields of interest include Asian languages and literature, Japanese translation, cooking, natural sciences, sex positivity, and mental health. In particular, she’s committed to helping decrease stigma around mental health issues.